Managing ADD, Career, Kids, and the Chaos Inbetween
I honestly can’t pinpoint the exact moment I was diagnosed with ADD. Somewhere around first or third grade, teachers flagged me for reading comprehension issues. After that, it's a bit hazy for me whether the testing was part of state assessments or something my parents arranged. But what I do remember is always feeling like I had to work twice as hard to focus, to retain information, to keep up with my peers in ways that felt effortless for them.
As a kid, I attended a private elementary and middle school where small class sizes and structured environments helped me stay on track. But when it was time to apply for high school, I hit my first major roadblock. To continue at a private school, I needed to complete standardized tests as part of the application process. Unfortunately, I’ve never been a great test taker—something that has followed me my entire life—so I didn’t get accepted into any of the schools I applied to. I ended up going the public school route instead, and looking back, I’m incredibly grateful. The experience exposed me to new people, different learning styles, and ultimately helped me navigate the world beyond the bubble of my childhood education.
By the time college applications rolled around, my parents, knowing my struggles with standardized testing, encouraged me to undergo formal ADD testing again. If I wanted accommodations, I needed the official paperwork. And no surprises on the test results—otherwise, why would I be writing this post?
Starting Medication: A Mixed Experience
After the testing, the doctor discussed various strategies to manage ADD without medication, but ultimately, I decided to start taking Adderall during my senior year of high school and continued into college.
I don’t remember much about how I personally felt on the medication in terms of focus, but I do remember some of the side effects. My schedule in college was so sporadic that I often forgot to eat, and I had trouble sleeping, especially if I took the medication later in the day. Some days, I felt unstoppable, checking things off my list like a machine. Other days, I felt drained—like my brain was working overtime but my body was completely disconnected from the process.
Eventually, I decided to stop taking medication and focus on self-management through routines, exercise, and sheer willpower. It worked for a while. Building that mind-muscle connection through fitness helped me stay grounded and focused in ways I hadn’t expected. I felt like I had a system that worked—until life got more complicated.
Fast Forward: Career, Kids, and Chaos
Fast forward to adulthood. A career. Marriage. Two kids. And suddenly, all the systems I had in place crumbled. Motivation felt out of reach. Impulse control became a daily struggle. My mind constantly felt like it had 1,000 tabs open—flashing, jumping, impossible to organize.
Add all of that mental chaos to the real, tangible chaos of two young toddlers, and I felt like I was drowning. Some days, I moved through life in a daze, forgetting what I walked into a room for, struggling to finish a single task without getting distracted by five others. Other days, I’d hyper-focus on something completely irrelevant, like reorganizing a closet instead of completing an actual priority.
At times, I felt like I would turn into a malfunctioning robot that couldn’t compute.
Finding Help: The Long Road to Support
For over a year and a half, I convinced myself that what I was experiencing was just lingering postpartum brain fog. I told myself it was normal to feel this scattered, that all moms feel this way. But deep down, I knew something was different.
Eventually, I decided to seek help, but finding the right therapist was overwhelming. There are so many different types—CBT therapists, trauma-informed therapists, ADHD specialists, general counselors—how was I supposed to know where to start? I’d schedule an appointment only to realize after a few sessions that the approach wasn’t right for me.
One therapist suggested implementing routines to regain control, which, sure, made sense. But has she ever tried to implement a structured routine with two young kids? It felt impossible to execute when my mind couldn’t even find the "on-ramp" to start building one.
Finally, during my annual physical, I opened up to my doctor. She listened. She validated my feelings. And she suggested restarting medication—not as a cure, but as a tool to help me find that elusive “on-ramp” to stability.
Medication: A Game Changer This Time
What a difference. While I still have tough days, the mental chaos has quieted. The tabs in my brain are still open, but instead of flipping between them frantically, I can navigate them with a little more control.
I’m still fine-tuning my dosage—it’s a trial-and-error process, and I started right before the holidays, which, let’s be honest, is the worst time of year to gauge mental clarity. But for the first time in years, I feel like I have a fighting chance at finding balance.
Learning About Myself and ADD
Now, with my word of the year, I’ve made it my goal to learn more about ADD—whether that’s my latest hyper-fixation or a genuine step toward self-growth remains to be seen. But a big motivator is preparing for the possibility that one (or both) of my kids might be diagnosed someday.
I’ve started reading How to Keep House While Drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organizing by KC Davis, and it’s been eye-opening. While the book focuses on care-related tasks like laundry and tidiness, so much of it resonates with how my mind works in all areas of life.
One quote that particularly stuck with me is: “Forget about creating a routine. You have to focus on finding your rhythm. With routines, you are either on track or not. With rhythm, you can skip a beat and still get back in the groove.”
It’s a simple yet powerful reminder that progress doesn’t have to look perfect.
Embracing My Unique Brain
I don’t have it all figured out. I’m still trying to find my rhythm, still navigating what works for me. But I’m also learning to appreciate the way my mind works, even when it doesn’t follow a traditional path.
If you have ADD (or love someone who does), what’s been your biggest takeaway or challenge? Let’s talk in the comments!