To The Voice That Says, "Who Do You Think You Are?"

Learning to Show Up Despite Self-Doubt

A friend recently shared a LinkedIn post about imposter syndrome, referencing an interview with Ilona Maher (you know, the rugby Olympian!). She talked about how Ilona's confidence initially felt... almost jarring.  And it got me thinking: why does unapologetic self-belief feel so weird, especially for us women? Why is it easier to believe we're underqualified than to trust our own darn voices?

I've started this blog at least three or four times. Each time, I'd get all fired up, thinking, "This is it! This is my year!" But then... poof. Self-doubt would swoop in like a tiny, annoying gremlin.

• "Do I really have anything new to say?"

• "Do I even have the right to write about this?"

• "What if my website looks like a hot mess?"

• “Why am I doing this?

And just like that, I'd retreat back into draft mode, convincing myself I wasn't "ready" yet. Sound familiar?

The thing is, I love being creative. And currently, writing has been that outlet for me. As someone with ADD, I tend to collect hobbies as one of my hobbies.

I love sharing those little "aha!" moments and snippets of my life. But for way too long, I let this invisible force—imposter syndrome—keep me stuck in "what if" land. And I know I'm not the only one.

I think back to my childhood, and I remember if I didn't do well on a test, one of the first questions my dad would ask was, "How did so-and-so do?" While I might need some actual therapy at some point, I've realized it doesn't matter how "so-and-so" did. They might excel at that topic or process information differently. That mindset, set up by well-meaning parents, really limits a child's self-worth and confidence.

Then there was field hockey. I was a force to be reckoned with on that field. I wasn't mean, but I was fierce. It's like I was a different person who didn't overthink, just did. I wonder where that girl went! 

But I’ve come to slowly realize that if you don't practice, you won't succeed. That unapologetic fierceness comes from putting in the work – granted in life, I’m not sure where the practice ends. 

So, naturally, when thinking about all this, I did what any modern person would do: I asked ChatGPT to play therapist and break it down for me.

Here are seven nuggets of wisdom on why so many of us struggle with imposter syndrome—and, more importantly, what we can do about it.

7 Truth Bombs About Imposter Syndrome (and How to Defuse Them!)

We're Conditioned to Be "Nice" (and Modest): From a young age, girls are often praised for being "humble" and "good team players," while boys are encouraged to be bold and confident. Over time, this makes self-assurance feel like a rebel act, something to be tamed rather than celebrated.
How to improve: Start noticing when you downplay your wins. Instead of saying, "Oh, I just got lucky," practice saying, "I worked hard for this, and I'm proud of it!"

The "Arrogant" Label Scare: Confident women are sometimes seen as arrogant or unlikable. This double standard makes us hesitate before owning our expertise.
How to improve: Reframe confidence as clarity. You don't have to be the loudest in the room—just the clearest about your worth.

The Permission Slip Myth: Many of us feel we need more credentials, experience, or validation before we can claim expertise. Meanwhile, men often apply for jobs they're wildly underqualified for.
How to improve: Remind yourself that expertise is built through action, not just fancy degrees. If you've put in the time, you belong in the room.

Perfectionism: The Sneaky Saboteur: We hesitate to publish, launch, or speak up because we want things to be "just right." But perfectionism is often just fear wearing a fancy disguise.
How to improve: Set a deadline and hit "publish," even if it's not perfect. Done is always better than perfect.

The Social Media Illusion: Social media makes it easy to assume everyone else has it all figured out while we're still scrambling behind the scenes.
How to improve: Unfollow accounts that trigger self-doubt. Focus on progress, not perfection—and remember, everyone's highlight reel is just that: highlights.

Rejection Hurts (But It Doesn't Define You): Women are more likely to take rejection personally, while men often see it as a challenge to try again.
How to improve: Shift your mindset—rejection is not a reflection of your worth. It's simply redirection.

The "Forgot How Far I've Come" Syndrome: When you're always focused on what's next, it's easy to forget how much you've grown.
How to improve: Keep a "wins" list. Anytime you accomplish something—big or small—write it down. Confidence builds when you recognize your own progress.

I'm still learning how to quiet that annoying little voice that whispers, "Who do you think you are?" But the next time imposter syndrome tries to crash my party, I'm going to take a page from Ilona Maher and Martha Stewart—not waiting for permission, not second-guessing what I bring to the table.

What about you? Have you ever let imposter syndrome hold you back? What's one way you're choosing to trust yourself more today? Share in the comments—let's cheer each other on!

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